R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
