I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize