I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
