I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The uberlube is also flammable
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
