How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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