He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize