I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize