Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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