Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
