I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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