I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize