fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
