What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
