Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
