Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My dick has a subreddit
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
