Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
