You just made me feel so damn special
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
