we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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