he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
