I think I died a long time ago.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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