You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
