youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
