Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
