I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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