pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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