I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
