just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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