let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
sex in a hospital.. check
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
