Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
All the doctor said was why
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
