I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize