I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
