He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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