before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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