i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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