Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
