I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
