I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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