i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My vagina just clenched in fear
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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