I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
