what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
