Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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