honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
