It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
