I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
