my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize