Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
