marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
