Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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