took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
