So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize