I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
