just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
