Your tits are I can't wait for
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
