Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
