I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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