I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
