What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
