Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
