the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
