He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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